And unfortunately, this type of reaction is all too common. Why do we hang in there, remaining silent on what we’re observing, while we’re pretzeling ourselves around to be whatever we think we need to be to get him (and the relationship) back the way it was?
Because when he starts pulling away from us, it brings out every abandonment issue we’ve ever had, and leaves us desperately trying to turn things around by pulling out all the stops and becoming everything we think he wants us to be. And the worst part is, in reality, it only has the opposite effect – it brings the relationship crashing down even faster than before.
The good news is that we can look at this as a gift.
It’s the gift of a clear message that things aren't quite right. Well, there are basically three avenues we can take.
Better than settling for someone who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
If you’re not ready to tackle things head-on just yet, there’s another good option. Enjoy yourself, pursue your own interests, follow your own passions, expand your world.It’s like getting sick – when our bodies are telling us that something’s wrong; we’re working too much, we’re too stressed, or maybe we’re not eating well. If you’re feeling like he’s distancing himself and the two of you are losing the connection you once had, well, you’re most likely right. He's afraid to tell us how he’s feeling directly; he’s not a guy who’s in touch with his feelings and can say what’s going on.So go ahead and tell him how you’re feeling, and ask him why things have changed.1 I celebrate myself, and sing myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.I loafe and invite my soul, I lean and loafe at my ease observing a spear of summer grass.Who isn’t loving us the way we were meant to be loved?