In my heart and soul, I've always been a girl, and once I was able to, I made physical changes to live the way I've always felt inside.
But, it wasn’t gratifying; and always left me disgusted. Buy, purge, buy, purge this repetitive cycle of self hatred continued unabated.Yet, the programming in my mind was so scrambled by then that it was difficult to differentiate between reality and fantasy.By the time I started seeing a gender therapist and a surgeon they were as convinced as I was that I was female.My childhood issues were jotted down by the therapists almost as if a side note. And that’s if you haven’t tried or committed suicide by then!(A very common failure in approving surgery.) At no time did I tell my family, consider my career or even consider talking to the love of my life of my plans. All so you can become the girl you “think” you are inside and wanted to be!This “sickness” and it is a sickness, consumes and takes over your life! Now my interest was finding out how to end my life. How long it takes you to come to this point is subjective; probably once the excitement wears off. You have destroyed everything in your path to get it done and no-one in the medical community will stop you. People, God or whatever you believe in made you in the correct gender. If you think differently, get real help; but, DON”T CHANGE IT.