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I’d missed my train home, so was late and was still dressed in my factory outfit, looking like a very camp Santa.
I definitely stood out against the girls in short skirts and low-cut tops, but I reluctantly took my seat and waited for the onslaught.
I was going to try my hand on the dating scene, and have a go at a few tried and trusted methods so I could write about them for Left Lion. Signing up to a dating site is scary; I worried that I’d know at least twenty percent of the people on there, Nottingham being the small, intimate place that it is.
Sit on your own table, and await a herd of men to move from woman to woman for four minutes of chit-chat. Then, you’re encouraged to mark them as a ‘yes’, a ‘no’ or ‘friend’ (which means ‘yes, but no’).
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There were a lot of questions about what I did when I was working and what I did when I wasn’t working, which got boring very quickly; I toyed with the idea of making up a different life for myself with every person, but decided against it. I sat there for a very long four minutes as he vomited words at me, detailing his previous speed dating experiences in minute and geographically correct detail. I couldn’t bring myself to tick the ‘no’ box, so I settled for ‘friend’ and hoped that he hadn’t done the same thing. He’d fancied my friend, was a bit narked that she hadn’t felt the same way, and could I put a word in for him?
Then he described his recent gym workouts in the same methodical, meticulous manner. Speed dating isn’t a bad way to meet people, if you disregard the stench of desperation that fills the room - the normal-to-weirdo ratio is heavily weighted towards the former, you’re in the same boat as everyone else and, unlike online dating, you know for sure that the man you’re talking to has his trousers on - but the question remains: how can you tell that you’d like to get to know someone better in just four minutes?
Thankfully, the date I went on wasn’t that bad, but we were definitely not right for each other. Speed dating If it’s good enough for the cast of Sex and the City, it’s good enough for the rest of us, right?