This combination increases the likelihood that a couple will charge into romance, heat up quickly, feel like they’ve found the one and get engaged.
Unfortunately, it also means neither may know each other all that well, nor have any idea how they will weather storms as a couple — resulting in a vulnerable marriage. Adding to the rapid fire “we just met” to “we are getting married” is the stress of celebrity life, lots of travel and time apart, often surrounded by much temptation in the form of other flirtations as well as alcohol and drugs (a bad combination in terms of fidelity). Marriages that last are those between people who have found a lot of common ground, and where there is not common ground, it’s between people that have found out they are capable of negotiating and compromising with each other.
If that is how your marriage worked, then that’s awesome! If your gut tells you its right, then listen to it.
I hope that it was perfect and beautiful in every way. I will also mention that this story would be completely different if I married a guy I kinda sorta knew…but he turned out to kinda sorta be a psychopath.
It’s called cohabitation and it’s on the rise with plenty of satisfied customers.
Taking the time up front to practice getting through life’s stresses together can save a lot of suffering on the back end of your relationship.
Tempting as it is, we can’t look to celebrities as our model for many things, including relationships.
One night my friends and I decided to go see some live music at a local bar. I was feeling pretty tipsy [AKA fearless] so I walked right up to him and said “Hey! After our 2.5 minute wedding ceremony and 0 spent on the marriage certificate and Chapel fees, we got some take-out to eat at our favorite bar, had a couple drinks, got our wedding bands tattooed [for free by a friend] and went home. I moved in with him right after we got hitched, and guess what? We didn’t have a 2-week honeymoon to a tropical island. I suppose I just want you to know that if you love someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them…you need to tell them. Tell them how you feel and that they’re it for you. If you want to marry someone, then marry the fuck out of them and don’t apologize for it.
We didn’t have a registry, receive thousands of dollars, monogrammed towels or knife sets. It’s Don’t feel like you need to do what society expects of you in order to have a lasting, healthy marriage or relationship. We are lucky to live in a country in which you can do whatever you want.
We asked psychiatrist Gail Saltz to weigh in on the idea of planning to get married after a whirlwind romance.