Friendship before dating

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She's with some friends of hers, you've had conversations before, they've gone well, there's obviously chemistry between the two of you, and you both get those Junior High smiles when you look at each other.So you cut away from your friends, sit down next to her with her friends, get into conversation, and ask if she will get together with you in the next few days. The day comes, you hang out, everything goes great. The next time around, she asks what you are thinking about the two of you.But the issue this causes is that we are not building strong foundations for relationships.Friedrich Nietzsche once said: This concept serves to teach us the importance of building a foundation for happiness that stretches beyond intimacy into friendship itself. When dating, we typically only want to show someone our best self.It goes without saying that you obviously won’t be going weeks, months, or years without seeing your significant other – but the understood, mutually felt longevity of your relationship provides you both with a secure, solid feeling that provides the comfort of knowing he or she is in it for the long haul. When you are with someone, you are not only friends with them when things are great.

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They will never be able to give you constructive feedback or say anything that would hint you don’t have every aspect of life completely figured out. You don’t win because if you wish to genuinely improve in an area of life and he or she always tells you everything is fine, you can never grow.

The other part that apparently goes into the thinking that brings up FBD, is the idea that if you're friends with a guy, you should be more comfortable with him if you were to date. It's a good academic premise, but it's not at all accurate.

Part of the excitement of dating someone is being able to carry on a connection while discovering the person.

You can have a friendship without a relationship, but you can’t have a relationship without a friendship.

So, you're out with some friends, you see a girl that you've been introduced to months prior.

The relationship dynamic remains friend-like, and eventually whatever feelings may have developed in the initial stage, have worn off so bad that neither person feels anything for the other person, including feelings that you would have for a friend.

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