In general, there’s a stigma that a younger woman dates an older man because he’s more powerful and can essentially take care of her.And while that may be true for some, a 2010 study by the University of Dundee in Scotland found that as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men. As a woman becomes more confident in her own career and finances, she seeks a partner who matches that, which often is not a 25-year-old guy.It can be tough when you and your older partner can’t share childhood commonalities (dude’s never read a book!?), but the benefits can certainly outweigh those little things.
Do not assume that getting a bunch of texts from a guy means you are having a relationship. If a man is choosing to only text or primarily text, he’s not showing signs of wanting to get to know you in a meaningful way. Whether it’s because they found someone else, were just playing or because they got scared — that’s 100% immaterial. You feel like you are getting to know one another, but that is not what’s happening.
Evolutionary psychologists say that relationships like this often occur because while fertility lasts only from puberty to menopause in women, it starts at puberty and can extend long into midlife for lots of men.
That means there’s a strategic advantage for women to snag an older gent—he’s had more time to accumulate resources and stability than his younger counterparts, which could make him a more viable partner and father.
Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.
I even tried it when my boyfriend and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am.
That said, there are not-so-little things that can cause friction too.