And then faulty patterns of communication yield increasing frustration. As I consult in case after case, I see that many emotionally eager women have good reason to feel disappointed.
Most women need strong, growing relationships that are openly expressed.
Are you willing to encourage him on the deepest emotional levels, but you can’t chip through the ice?
Do you feel that despite your relatively lax expectations, you are being taken advantage of?
But she can make improvements in two general areas: 1.
Have you noticed that in our culture, the burden of a relationship often falls on the woman?
But neediness is not gender-specific – guys make the mistake of being “needy” too!
So I want you to know that I am putting this out there to help and inspire everyone to have more dating success, to point fingers. ” and pretty much any sentence that begins with ‘why didn’t you,’ it’s like nails on a chalkboard.
I can tell you from a guy’s perspective that when a woman says things like: “Why didn’t you call? Those kinds of statements will immediately put a guy on the defensive rather than motivating him to change and he’ll probably withdraw emotionally as a result… I would say the core reason of this is that it attacks a guy’s sense of freedom and feeling of acknowledgment. Well, when a woman starts down this chain of “Why didn’t you…” it feels to a guy as if she isn’t noticing all of the other things he is doing for a relationship. It’s perfectly normal and healthy to want a relationship with all the good qualities: connection, chemistry, understanding, intimacy, attentiveness and on and on.
The woman is expected to “make it work.” If a man remains faithful, he gets the credit.
If he strays, it’s somehow her fault, at least in part.
If at all possible, I include husbands in my counseling sessions.