For me, learning to date became more about doing the things I enjoy and the hope of meeting someone while doing those things…for example, going to sporting events, running 5k's, seeing movies, touring museums, and taking cooking classes.It was exhausting, and dating was not at the top of my mind.When I knew I was ready to start to date again, I had frank discussions with my children about going on without their dad.Dating after the death of a spouse can be an awkward experience.
People often wondered if I ever regretted getting married so young. A few months after his death, I considered remaining a widow forever. I figured the dating world belonged to 20-year-old coeds, not 31-year-old widows. I delivered my son three days before my husband was killed.
It's okay to talk about your deceased spouse, but set boundaries.
Answer questions he or she may have about your marriage, but don't spend all your time talking about your deceased spouse, or how happy you were with him. And, he or she might make you incredibly happy for years to come.
My husband was told he would be lucky to live two years post diagnosis. From the moment we got the news about my husband's survival expectancy, I went into functioning like a single parent and we worked on getting things in order. When I felt ready to at least test the dating waters, my girlfriends and I created an online dating profile for myself.
I really didn't want to go this route, but it seemed like the right thing to do to meet people in my age bracket.
It can also bring out feelings of confusion and concern from friends, family and those who were close to the deceased spouse.