I thought at the time, she would spend Christmas with her dad and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. I know with certainly I didn't intend to be hurtful to my daughter by doing this, but I think I felt we all needed a break from her.She had become very bossy of the girls as if she owned my house, owned me and owned them. I think it is interesting that I can't really remember the details of this incident.No one else stepped forward to this incredible responsibility. My own two children were grown and out of the house.I loved my nieces very much and by now my daughter was 20 years old. These kids had had it very rough, and I wanted to be there for them.She was so happy to see me...running toward me as if I was the light of her world. I remember how my heart warmed to see my beautiful little girl that day and so many day. I did all the things for my daughter and my son that had never been done for me.When the grief overtakes me, I remember moments like those that cannot be taken away from me. I did all the things I thought good moms do--including abstaining from alcohol, my family's curse.I feel I have failed at something more important than anything else in life, motherhood. I didn't want my kids to have a drunken mother and I was the only one of my four siblings that did not succumb to alcoholism. I know she was only 9 years old when my sister died at age 35 with 3 small children. Sometimes I feel: "My daughter would rather it was me that died as little as she cares for me." When my sister died, I know I had a lot of grief and a lot of fear because the cancer that killed her runs in families and the doctors were treating me like I was a cancer waiting to happen.
I told her truthfully that being that she had been so disrespectful to me during her teen years and that we hadn't gotten along very well, I just could not handle any more stress in my life and I did not think it good she move back home. My heart went out to them and I wanted to do all I could to give them a safe, dependable, loving life.
I thought it would be good for them to connect to some of their distant relatives on my mom's side of the family.
Also, I did not have money for Christmas and this was a good way to get around the problem.
I knew he had an anger problem all his life after a head injury from a motorcycle accident when he was young.
He told me about this anger management issue on our very first date. But once the 3 girls came into our home, I do believe the stress on him caused the anger problems to arise.
I felt she was not the best influence on them though she was still young herself, only in her early 20's.